Couldn't let go
by StupidBolts
Summary: Sunstreaker doesn't understand. Sunstreaker doesn't need to understand. All he needs is Bluestreak. All he needs to do is hold him when he cries. After all; he couldn't let go if he tried. Oneshot rubbish.


**Song 1 : Here (in your arms) by Hellogoodbye**

**Song 2 : Digital love by Daft Punk**

**Song 3 : Pretty when you cry by Vast**

**XxX**

Couldn't let go

**XxX**

Sunstreaker didn't understand, and he didn't want to. He was just content with holding the young Datsun against his chest, rocking him back and forth and humming to him, listening to him cry. Sunstreaker knew all about Praxius, knew all about Bluestreak's life. But he still didn't understand. Bluestreak didn't like talking about it on their patrols into the city, so the Lambo didn't pry like the other Autobots did.

Maybe that's why Bluestreak liked him so much; Sunstreaker was too self-centred to fuss and make a big deal about it. Sideswipe was much the same but that was more because he was busy trying to make Bluestreak laugh! The red fighter liked it when the Datsun would just shut up and giggle at him.

"Makes me feel special!" he'd say. He was special, at least Bluestreak thought so. But Sunny was different, unique, incomparable. Many of his comrades agreed, but they were being negative.

Prowl worried too much. He didn't like Sunstreaker being alone with his precious little adopted son, and also didn't like Prime pairing him up with the Lambo for night patrols. But, Prowl being Prowl, he didn't argue with his commander. Besides, he had enough problems keeping Jazz from running wild!

Bluestreak still took the time to say "I love you!" to his father just before he went for patrols with Sunstreaker. He didn't know if it helped, but it did break through that indifferent frown on the older mech's face and give way to a touched smile and an affectionate hug when no one was looking. Well, Sunstreaker would _pretend_ he was looking and snickering to himself!

"Do you love me?" Sunstreaker looked down at the sniffling mech staring back up at him, fist curled against his yellow chest. When Bluestreak cried, he reminded the yellow fighter of a wet and miserable Earth kitten begging for shelter.

**Well you are the one, the one that lies close to me**

**Whispers "Hello, I've missed you quite terribly"**

**I fell in love, in love with you suddenly**

**Now there's no place else I could be but here in your arms**

"... Yeah... Yeah, Blue. I... you're cool..." Sunstreaker breathed. While Bluestreak knew he should feel honoured that Sunstreaker would actually show any form of tenderness, it still hurt him to know Sunstreaker would never say he loved him out loud. Not like he did for Sideswipe anyway.

"... Thanks..." but he couldn't be fickled. Sunstreaker didn't like fickled or demanding bots; they should've been content with what they got! But sadly, no one really got this yellow sociopath like his brother and Bluestreak.

Sunstreaker pressed his cheek to the top of Bluestreak's helm, cradling him in the dark of the street still. The rain would ruin his wax job but, for once in his vain life, he didn't care. He just wanted to Bluestreak's crying. Make him smile the way Sideswipe could!

Sideswipe made Bluestreak laugh, made him happy, sincerely! No one else could make Bluestreak laugh as much and as hard as Sideswipe!

**Don't stop come a little closer**

**As we jam the rhythm gets stronger**

**There's nothing wrong with just a little little fun**

**We were dancing all night long**

Sunstreaker was the one Bluestreak broke down for. The sociopath didn't understand why, but it was just him with the Datsun; poor Bluestreak would just burst into tears.

_Why can't I just make him happy like Sides' or Jazz?_ He'd think mournfully. He was uptight, no doubt about that, but he still _**felt**_. He felt for his brother, clearly. He felt for Prime, obviously. He felt for himself, plainly!

But he _**cared**_ for Bluestreak. Most people wouldn't understand the difference; there was no way he could love anyone more than his spark twin. Which was true, and Bluestreak knew and appreciated that! And that's also what made Sunstreaker strive for the Datsun's attention.

It was a mess really. A mess of feelings and thoughts; I jigsaw puzzle stuck in all the wrong ways and the glue was setting fast! Sunstreaker just had to straighten it out fast.

To _feel_ for someone when you are Sunstreaker : it was all about admiration and enjoying one's presence!

…

To _**care**_ for someone when you're as messed up in the head as Sunstreaker : is when you don't care if the person you care about hates you, wishes you dead, shoots you in the foot or even yells in your face for you to get the frag away from them! You wanted, _needed_, **craved** their presence! You would search the universe for them just to get a glimpse of their face.

**And the moon gives me**

**permission and I enter**

**through her eyes**

**she's losing her virginity and**

**all her will to compromise**

Oh yes, he cared for Bluestreak. That's why he peeked over the brick wall he built between him and society, the wall with a little green door at the bottom that only Sideswipe was given the key to, just for Bluestreak.

"You're cool... and cute... and sweet... funny..." he could go on for hours. "and kind... admirable..." he really could. "... I love you too..."

Bluestreak gasped, then rammed hard against Sunstreaker's chest plate in a demanding hug.

"You'll scrape my paint..."

"I'm sorry..." Sunstreaker just cradled the bot he cared for in his arms. After all; it's not like he could ever bring himself to let go.


End file.
